Meow Yeah!… Meow Yeah!

So, standing in the supermarket checkout line this evening, I notice a minor tabloid on the rack called the Weekly World News. And their lead story is headlined: Real Life Catwoman Found In Ozarks. In checking out the picture, I see she looks just like … Jeff Foxworthy :D

So, I can hear it in my mind: You Just Might Be A Redneck Catwoman If…

Your Litter Box Is At The Edge Of The Woods…

When You Go To Scratch Up The Furniture, You Keep Poking Yourself On The Springs…

You And Batman Are Actually Cousins…

The Hound-dog Only Chases You When You Try To Raid His Still…

Gary

Something has been bugging me all weekend. The kids and hubby are irritating me to no end, but I know it’s not them. I think I know now what my problem is. A couple of weeks ago, I read a post on Blackfive written by a Navy doctor leaving Iraq describing what was good and what was bad. Of course I broke down, and sent the link to all my friends and family. Naturally a few replied and bitched at me for making them cry, but one of my cousins replied and told me how she thought so many take the sacrifices military members make for granted. Then she thanked me for serving and told me how proud she was of me. Well, there I went bawling again. See, I don’t feel that I ever really made that much of a sacrifice. Sure I missed my daughter’s first Christmas when I was in Kuwait, but thousands of men and women miss a lot of their kid’s Christmas’s, and birthdays, and anniversaries than I ever did. But that’s not what’s bugging me either.

I have another cousin who joined the Army National Guard about 14 years ago. His unit deployed to Iraq a few months ago. I know he is no more or less important than any other soldier over there, but he is the only one that I have known my whole life. He is the only one over there that I used to sneak off with to smoke cigarettes when we were teenagers. He’s the only one over there I cruised around town with listening to AC/DC’s Who Made Who tape. He’s the only one who was standing next to me in front of our Granny’s casket and saw her eyelid flutter. (I would have thought it was my imagination, but he saw it too.) I think that’s my problem. It’s hitting close to home. There hasn’t been a war or conflict before this one, in my lifetime, that someone that close to me has been involved in, because I was too little to remember Vietnam.

Godspeed Gary, and be safe. I am proud of you.

Sgt. Mom’s Virtual Book Tour!!!

So, I am putting it out to the many fans I know I have who also have blogs of their own: send me half a dozen questions that you absolutely, positively want to know the answer to, direct from me— and I will answer them, honestly and amusingly. You can post the interview on your site, with a link to my eccentric and charming memoir, and I will post a link to your penetrating and insightful interview on TDB.
No, it is not link-whoring, just exploring the so-far-unlimited limits of the blogosphere. And it’s not like I’ve been booked on “The Today Show” or “Fresh Air” or anything… but I have four hungry cats to support, and a daughter to put through veterinary school, even though the GI bill will do a lot of the heavy lifting as far as Cpl. Blondie’s continuing education is concerned. (She already knows how to hotwire a Humvee, and siphon gas with a length of garden hose, but veterinary school requires many, many other skills.) And why do I have to travel, when I can be there, with the click of a mouse?
Let me know, via comments, or e-mail.

Putting the draft rumor to rest

I had planned a much longer, more thoughtful, more cogent, more eloquent essay about some other subject this weekend, but time has (yet again) gotten away from me. I am behind in all three of my classes (students are waiting patiently on returned papers AND I have a test to finish preparing) and I’m supervising Sageling on my own this weeken while the General is on a retreat.

But enough whining.

In place of that, a quick thought on the draft.

Senator Kerry’s rumor-mongering on the draft was covered on this site (and many others — see here for example) earlier this week. Late in the week, on one of the Fox shows, I heard Pat Caddell (whom I’ve grown to like in spite of the fact that we’re on opposite sides of the political spectrum) mention that the draft is a subject that may yet need to be addressed by the candidates. His reason? We will need more troops in Iraq or elsewhere.

Mind you, I don’t think Caddell is engaging in rumor-mongering like Sen. Kerry was, but why does everyone think that a draft is the only solution to our manpower problem? What about just increasing our recruiting efforts and perhaps “sweetening the pot?”

Furthermore, I’ll bet that there are many of us who have retired or separated who would be willing to sign up for another hitch in while we’re engaged in the war on terror. I’d be honored to be recalled to AD (the General might not be so thrilled, but she’s a patriot, and she’d salute and follow right along with me). Warning to the Air Force — the longer I hang out with these academics, the quicker I lose my edge. Hurry!

So, let’s not hear any more about the draft. OK? Except maybe from Charlie Rangel, just for entertainment value.

Bush Volunteered For ‘Nam

Just when you thought the service record issue was dead…

Josh Micah Marshall claims that Marc Racicot lied when he said George Bush volunteered to go to Vietnam, Josh is relying upon Bush’s 1968 enlistment forms, and the fact that the Palace Alert program ended shortly after Bush graduated flight training in 1970. However, we now find, according to retired ANG Colonel Ed Morrisey, Bush volunteered again:

“The Air Force, in their ultimate wisdom, assembled a group of 102′s and took them to Southeast Asia. Bush volunteered to go. But he needed to have 500 [flight] hours, but he only had just over 300 hours so he wasn’t eligible to go,” Morrisey recalls.

I’ve got an email into Byron York, perhaps the journalist most familiar with Bush’s service record, hoping to find out when Bush had accumulated 300 hours of flight time. Or perhaps one of our own astute readers or contributors can help me out?

A New Taste Treat

Let me preface this by stating that I have not smoked any marijuana tonight, nor have I in recent memory. :)

I just put some cooked spinach on a Philly cheesesteak sandwich – YUM-YUM!

Oh, and please don’t tell my doctor I’m eating cheesesteaks at midnight. >:)

Coming Soon To a Med Lab Near You: A Dog

This is really amazing:

Sept. 24, 2004 — For years, dog owners have been informing their doctors about the apparent disease-detecting ability of their pets, and today those claims gain some credibility with the release of the first ever peer-reviewed scientific study showing that dogs can smell cancer.

The paper, published in the British Medical Journal, tested whether canines could sniff out bladder cancer within urine samples. The researchers believe dogs probably can smell other cancers and diseases, such as tuberculosis.

But I ask, with all these wonderous things we can train dogs to do, why do we need $50,000 dynamometers to do smog checks? :D

School Busses, and Scrambles and Owls, Oh My!! (The Final Stretch)

For just about every busload of kids, a visit to the Mather AFB Museum and Planetarium (and whatever else) was the first ever time they had ever been to a military base. The grade school kids were demented with excitement from the sheer adventure of being sprung from a boring classroom for a day, and although the more worldly middle and high school students managed a show of insouciance, they were usually impressed and fascinated, also. Mather’s neat, tree-lined grid of streets and ranges of World War II era temporary buildings certainly looked like a movie set of a military base. (Temporary in this case means that the military gets at least half a century of hard use out of it; permanent has to last a couple of centuries. Really and truly temporary is canvas with a wooden floor.)

I turned the commute between the gate and the flight line into part of the tour, with a monologue about how the base was really a town, just like where they lived: we had a city hall (the wing HQ), and a grocery store (waving a hand towards the road where the commissary was), a department store (we’d be passing the BX complex at this point), and apartment buildings (which would be the student navigator barrack blocks). Our suburb was the housing area, away around the end of the runway, where there was a church and a grade school. To the kids, this was familiar, but the uniforms…. And the airplanes…. And the helicopters!

All that made it no end exotic, and extra fascinating, to the point where I couldn’t give up this part of the tour when we had a group that came in a carpool, instead of efficiently all loaded onto a bus. In that case, I’d have prepared by bringing along strips of bright cloth, to be tied to the aerials of all the cars in the tour, with me in the lead car, and my casual officer assistant in the last. At various key points, I’d have the tour convoy pull over and park, and the kids gather around for the commentary. This would eat up precious time, unloading and loading the cars, until I came up with a strategy to move the kids along briskly. I told them the story of England’s Finest Hour, when the RAF fighter pilots had to be ready, standing by their aircraft and ready to take off at a moments’ notice to fly and fight. As soon as they were given the order to “scramble” I would say, they had to run to their planes, jump in, fasten their safety belts, and take off, as swiftly and as efficiently as they could. And this is what I wanted the kids to do— to run to the car they were riding in get in and fasten up, and help their friends— the minute that I yelled “Squadron! Scramble!” Worked like a charm, too, but there must be many thirty and forty-somethings on the Sacramento metro area who now have a decidedly eccentric take on the Battle of Britain.

We usually took them to the planetarium first, a tiny column of a building with a domed roof that always reminded me of Poindexter’s planetary telescope— which could seat an astonishingly large number of people, on the tiered seats inside. I listened to the planetarium presentation so many times, I could have done it myself, if necessary. It was interesting to see how the various school groups responded, and sometimes disheartening; how so very few kids could recognize the planet earth, blue and green and swathed with clouds, in a shot taken from space. It seemed that the sharpest classes were either from parochial and private schools, or from the small rural towns outside the city. The dullest academic knife in the drawer during my time doing tours was a class which contained only two kids— one white, one black— who spoke English. The rest of the class was split between Hispanic and Vietnamese, and although they had a Spanish-fluent and a Vietnamese-fluent teachers’ aide with them, we were left all to wonder if anyone had gotten anything out of the trip at all.

The museum was down the street and around the corner from the planetarium, an easy walk of three blocks or so, and which incorporated a “sight” not actually listed in the teachers’ “handbook of field-trips”. I always stopped the column of children about half a block away, and told them what it was, and what they should look for. This was Mather AFB’s very own unofficial mascot and endangered species, a particular and very rare breed of ground-burrowing owl, peculiar to California and very high up on the endangered species list. So when one of these rare birds deigned to make itself entirely at home in a stretch of field and find a mate and build it’s own-equivalent of the rose-covered cottage adjacent to a well-traveled sidewalk, the powers that be were suitably impressed. So was everyone else. No one on base was permitted to pester, harass, or deliberately frighten it. The owl (or owls) were often seen, perched on top of the rounded cone of dirt from the burrow. A kind, wild-life loving soul in CE even provided a gnome-sized patio table with umbrella to mark the burrow especially. (Little-known fact: military preserves are often very well stocked with endangered species, which often seem remarkably stoic about live ammunition, noisy engines, and frequent explosions. Go figure.) With luck, and if they were quiet and kept their eyes fixed on the little table, and the mound of dirt, at least half the tour group would have a glimpse of the owl— a stubby brown little thing about the size of a fat grackle, before it went to ground.

Around the corner, the Museum was in an old warehouse, quite professionally designed and with a nice collection of aviation relics, an authentic old wire recorder, and a half-sized replica biplane that the kids could actually climb into. The unicycle-riding major provided good amusement value, although his accounts of Pancho Barnes’ place in aviation history had to be considerably toned down for the grade-school set.
And then to the picnic ground across the road from the museum, keeping a watchful eye on the kids, eating bag lunches, chatting to their teachers, and answering questions posed by clearly hero- or heroine-worshipping kids… well, there are worse ways to spend a morning at work. I could hardly believe the Air Force paid me a salary to do something I enjoyed this much,
We used to get packets of thank-you letters and drawings from the kids, afterwards. Their teachers assigned them to do pictures and letters as a class assignment.

It was amazing, how many of them did pictures of the owl!

And Another Week Passes

Friday has come, another work week passed into history as my Beloved drove up, I helped her out of the car and into the house, and she flopped on the sofa with a huge sigh. Again I’m Blessed. We may be poor, there may be little food in the house, but we’re still here, our kids are safe and happy, and we’re still optimistic as we pray for the grandkids….

But my heart is heavy. Today the Army announced two more deaths in Iraq, and that means two mothers are heartbroken, two more families have been deprived of very precious and beloved sons. Our nation has lost two men who were so very valuable; these men were important to each of us.

Unlike the armies of many other nations, the Army of the United States of America is comprised of men and women who have volunteered, who are there because of the desire to serve not just the nation – that’s too broad to wrap your head around – but the neighbor down the block, his/her friend’s Aunt Sophie, and the little kid in Yonkers whom he never met. Our military family consists of people, people who saw a need and filled it, who saw their duty and rose to it, no matter the cost. And here today we mark the ultimate sacrifice of two more heroes who gave their all that we might live in a free and wonderful society. I have to stop for a moment to honor these brave men.

Tomorrow my flag will fly a little higher, my determination to be a better man will be a little stronger, and I will do my best to live up to and try to be worthy of, the sacrifice of all those who have given their lives in order for me, my friends, and even those who would be my enemies, to breathe free air.

“In order for the tree of freedom to thrive, the roots must occasionally be refreshed with the blood of patriots and of tyrants.”

(Thomas Jefferson)

Let us pay tribute to:

Sgt Skipper Soram, 23, of Federated States of Micronesia
ASSGD: 3/82, 1CavDiv 9/22/2004 Baghdad, IED

SSG Lance J. Koenig, 33, Fargo, ND
ASSGD: NDNG 141 EngBn 9/22/2004, Tikrit. IED

May God comfort their families, and may they be welcomed into the Presence of Heroes in Heaven above.

We must never forget what we’re fighting for. Oh, God, if I could but just put that uniform back on and get out there!

Have a good and Blessed weekend!

Rivalry between branches

My time at the JAC, being a Joint unit, made for some fun, good-natured rivalry between the branches. One day a couple of my friends were bickering, not seriously mind you, but it escalated to the good-natured threat. The SPC made some sort of threat to the SSgt, but I don’t remember what it was now. The SSgt, who is female, looks him in the eye and says “You and what Army? Oh, right! You’re an Army of One! BWAHAHAHA!!!!”

Worth Thinking About….

“Duties are not performed for duties’ sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty- the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself.”

*Mark Twain

The funny stuff I saw today

Okay, so I’m not political in the least, But I am allotted a certain amount of humor .
But some times you see something’s that just make you laugh and shake you head.
Bumper Sticker #1
If Kerry is the answer, then the question is a stupid one.

Bumper Sticker #2
If it absolutely has to be destroyed overnight.
United States Marine Corps.

Bumper Sticker #3
If you can read this, Our snipers have you in their sights.