The Use of a Dog

I am a cat person by default. That said, I like dogs and, and have had a dog, they take to me, and a couple of the neighbors’ dogs are openly adoring, but the fact remains that dogs are more high-maintenance than cats, more emotionally needy. They are like something that comes out of the box in parts, with a collection of tools and a twenty-page manual for assembly and programming, whereas cats arrive completely assembled, ready for instant use. They do not mind that you are away for most of the day, they do not need to be taken for walks, and they see life steadily and see it whole from a perch on the windowsill, or across the back of an armchair. They have their own secret lives and amusements, and while they are glad to see you come home at the end of the day, they are not neurotically overjoyed, like a dog is— for the dog, this is the high point of the day, and they have been waiting all day for the sound of your car, and the garage door rumbling open, and now the dog is trembling with excitement, their someone is home, homehomehome, and they begin to bark, ecstatically. It takes very little to please a dog, but still— their day must have been terribly dull, that this is the high point of it— and it is enough to feel guilty about not having come home sooner. I do not need guilt— I prefer my relationships to be with well-adjusted grownups. Cats fulfill that niche very nicely.

But I have had the use of a dog, without the upkeep, which is a satisfying compromise; these days, the dog is Polly, who lives next door with her people. She is a miniature dachshund, or as I call her “a cocktail wiener-dog”, a sleek and low-slung little doggie exactly the color of a fresh-picked chestnut hull, given to bark with soprano enthusiasm at anyone who walks by on the sidewalk out front, or comes either of our two houses. My driveway, and front walk are clearly part of “her” territory, and noisy attention must be paid to any trespasser. This is a good thing; it is one of the traditional uses of a dog— to alert us of company and passing strangers. As a puppy, I may have cuddled her just enough to form a bond, and now she demands affection as her right. She recognizes the sound of the VEV, and her owner insists that Polly is watching for me at 6 PM daily, bouncing up to the gate so I can lean down and rub that chestnut-brown little head, while her tail whips back and forth so energetically it shakes her whole hinder end. So I have the use of a dog, without any of the responsibility for maintenance, and all it costs me is a few minutes of time. When we lived in Spain we also had the use of a dog, a dog that spent more of the first few years of her life with Blondie, and more time in our yard than her own.

A young Spanish couple, engaged to be married, had bought the duplex unit opposite ours to be their permanent home. Their yard was separated from ours by only a thin and raggedy hedge, although there was a tall chain link fence at the back, and an ornate brick and metal fence at the front of the units. During their engagement, and then while their duplex was being renovated, they used it as a weekend or summer cabin, and one of the first things Antonio and Susannah did was to get a dog to guard the yard and the usually empty duplex. Drufy was a purebred German shepherd, of the Prussian persuasion of German shepherd— that is, lean, intense and very driven. (As opposed to the Bavarian persuasion, who tend to be fat, happy canine slobs). She had a little doghouse under the stairs, and the portero, or maybe one of the urbanizations’ watchmen came around every day with food and water. Of course, my daughter discovered the presence of a dog in the adjoining yard very early on, and since the hedge was permeable, and we were actually there, much more frequently than Antonio and Susannah were… well, it was only logical outcome. Drufy bonded to us; my daughter and I were Her People, and our yard was Her Yard. She was our fiercely dedicated guardian, and everyone considered that a good thing, certainly Juan Vigilante, the retired Guadia Civil who was the senior watchman in San Lamberto— keeping a strict and observant eye upon all the comings and goings— thought it an excellent idea that a single woman with a small daughter should have the use of a such a tireless guardian.

My daughter took it into her head, at the age of 10, that she wanted to be a latch-key child, and the presence of Drufy, Juan Vigilante, a telephone in our duplex unit, and the near-by residences of several friends were the things that tilted my decision to allow it. My daughter took the school bus home every schoolday, with strict orders to call me as soon as she got in the door: I was on air at EBS-Zaragoza, in the radio studio doing the drive-time afternoon show then— I took her call in the studio, every afternoon between 3:30 and 3:35, otherwise I would have been calling out everyone short of the American Counsel. It was reassuring to know, that Drufy-dog was there, alert and vigilant. Indeed, my daughter described with relish, how the propane-gas-bottle deliveryman had barely beat Drufy to our gate, with the empty bottle and the payment for the new one, and Drufy’s teeth bare inches from his ass.

When Antonio and Susannah married, and the renovations were complete, they moved into the apartment opposite, but Drufy’s situation did not improve materially; she was still the outdoor guardian dog. Susannah had a vile-tempered Jack Russell terrier, which had indoor privileges and all the shelter and affection that that implied. Drufy remained in her doghouse outside. My daughter thought this was cruelly unfair; Drufy was loving and affectionate, a better and more satisfactory dog all around than that nasty little terrier. Even when the terrier was bred, and had a litter of puppies— Drufy baby-sat the puppies, and continued to guard our house, and was unmercifully bullied by the terrier. At least, she was, until the summer that we returned from one of our long road trips to notice that the terrier had a long bandage around her middle, and was behaving more respectfully to Drufy and everyone else. It seemed that she had snapped once too often, and Drufy had about bitten her in half. My daughter and I were totally partisan; we felt Drufy’s response was completely justified and long overdue.

But as always with a military tour— and I had done a double tour at Zaragoza, six years, long enough to see my daughter all the way through elementary school— the orders and pack-out date loomed. I made arrangements for the VEV, for the cats, for the hold baggage… and my daughter asked if we could take Drufy, too.
“She thinks she is ours, much more than Antonio and Susannahs’,” she insisted, quite correctly, and even took it up with Antonio, who pointed out that she was a pedigreed dog, and very valuable. He did offer to send her one of her puppies, when he had her bred, which was quite fair, but where would we be, when that came around, and how much would it cost to send a puppy halfway around the world? It would be hard enough to rent a place that permitted the eminently portable and well-behaved cats. We bid Drufy an affectionate farewell— I took a picture of her with my daughter, and gave Antonio and Susannah a couple of bottles of good California wine. We should have given Drufy some nice treats, but how could that have ever made up for half of her People suddenly, and inexplicably vanishing from her limited world?

I just hope she did not grieve for us too much… and that she did not have a nervous breakdown entirely when our duplex was rented to someone else.

Good Reads

Neil Cavuto from FoxNews had something to say about being a “victim” last week. Who’s to Blame? I grew up with a “victim” so I agree with Mr Cavuto.

I was perusing Free Republic last week also and found a great article. Funny thing about this one, a couple of weeks ago, I was chatting with one of my co-workers about how great it would be if there was a Starbuck’s right off post. She had heard that someone tried to get Starbuck’s to send some coffee to the troops in Iraq. Starbuck’s allegedly refused saying that while they support the troops, they don’t support the war. I don’t know for a fact that Starbuck’s really took that position. I hope they didn’t as I love their coffee. I still got a bit riled up about it and made the statement that “You can’t support one without the other.” I was going to write about it, but then I had computer problems (random and increasingly frequent reboots) for a few days (fixed by disabling the onboard sound and installing a sound card), then coming home brain-dead from a script I was working on at work. JB Williams must have read my mind. He said what I felt, only much better than I could have said it. A True American Patriot

UPDATE: Thanks to Kayse for pointing out that the Starbuck’s story is an urban legend. I’ll include Kayse’s link here as well as the comment. Real Starbuck’s story

Geek At Work

I’m adding a new banner for the site and some other stuff to the index page. The page looks okay in Internet Exploder, but the blog body slides under the banner in Netscrape. Grrrrrrrrr!

Please bear with me as I’m a hardware guy, not a bit counter.

Update: The Banner works in Netscrape now, yea!

Dick Morris is the Phil Jackson of Politics

And certainly, Karl Rove is the John Wooden.

In an interview with Bill O’Reilly today, Morris nailed his analysis of the Presidential campaign. With the tagline, “The Bush campaign is playing Chess, the Kerry campaign Checkers,” he described how Bush laid back in the first two debates, sticking to his ‘Kerry is a flip-flopper’ theme. Then, in the final debate, which concentrated on domestic policy, Bush came off the ropes, and succinctly tagged Kerry with the ‘tax-and-spend liberal’ moniker.

In the next few days, Kerry and his people tried to back off, and qualify Kerry’s wild massive government promises, by stating that certain things would have to be cut if it meant increasing taxes on the middle class or the deficit, but nobody bought it. Now, the issues have been stolen from him. He simply can’t go any stronger to contradict himself without tightening the flip-flopper noose around his neck.

Morris had correctly stated earlier (as did many analysts, myself included), that Kerry was going down the wrong path campaigning on the Islamofascist war, and Iraq in particular. I believe he went a bit far in stating that no Democrat can successfully campaign on foreign policy against a Republican, as many have criticisms of Bush’s specific conduct of the war. But that Democrat would be somebody like Joe Biden or Joe Lieberman, NOT John Fonda Kerry.

Now, Kerry is backed into a corner. And his campaign has resorted to the last bastion of desperate politicians, the scare campaign. And indeed, this is about the most shameless scare campaign I have ever seen – certainly the most in a Presidential race. Young people will get drafted, old people will lose their Social Security, and minorities will lose their right to vote – nothing is off limits.

But this scare campaign is so outlandish – so lacking in subtlety, I predict it will backfire on Kerry. While not as big as the landslide I predicted a year ago, I predict Bush will win handily, with at least a 50 vote Electoral College lead.

Wake me when it’s over

I will be so glad when the election is over. Not that I expect it will be over Nov 3 unless it’s a complete landslide. Oh, even then the National-level Democrats will most likely be crying that it was stolen again, unless they steal it. I have decided that I am in election-year overload. Since discovering the blogosphere, I have a wealth of information at my fingertips. During my 5 years in the UK, the Early Bird, CNN, and Fox News were my primary sources of news. Every now and then I would watch Sky News, and watched BBC news for the weather, but I didn’t watch (or read) any of those sources with any regularity.

I got involved in politics, to an extent, when I turned 18. It all started with a phone call from my friend Kim asking if I wanted to be a poll worker in the May primary. So my first real paying job was for my county’s Democratic Committee, and yes, I was a registered Democrat. It was a great educational experience for me. Granted I had almost always gone with my parents when they voted, and know the basics: the voter signs the book, gets a ballot, fills it out, and puts it in the box. That first primary I worked, I learned the whole process. I had also heard my parents claim for 18 years that the elections were fixed, at least in our county, so I was on the lookout for it. There was none at that precinct. We were by the book, and the book was the law. We still had paper ballots then, and we were meticulous about counting them. For our table, Kim and I kept the counts while the ballots were read to us. If we came up with different totals, we started all over. I would end up working not only the Democrat Primaries, but also the general elections for the next 4 years.

Although I was a registered Democrat, I was a candidate voter. I voted against Clinton for governor, but voted for his Lt Governor. Of course, that was before the Lt’s indiscretions came out. I voted for Bush 41 both times, but I just couldn’t bring myself to vote for Dole. Since a vote for Ross Perot was a vote for Clinton, I sat that one out. I would have voted for Bush 43, but it really didn’t matter that I didn’t since Gore lost in Arkansas anyway, along with his home state of Tennessee. Heh. J I didn’t really have anything against Gore at the time other than the fact that he was associated with Clinton, until the after election debacle. Now I wish he would find his way back to whatever cave he crawled from.

I am now an undeclared voter in North Carolina, about 15 minutes away from Senator Gone’s hometown of Robbins. I can’t say that I have been happy with every decision President Bush has made. I had really hoped that he wouldn’t invade Iraq, not that I didn’t think Saddam deserved to be de-throned. Knowing now what I do about the UN’s Oil For Food “program,” I’m glad we went in. Expose those arrogant, worthless French as the criminals they are. And the Germans. And definitely Kofi Annan with his blind-eye-to-genocide. I would also like to see them all kicked out of our country. But that’s just my opinion, and off my original subject. I don’t think Bush lied to me about the WMD’s in Iraq. I didn’t think Clinton was lying about them, or Gore, or Kerry, or anyone else in the world who said Saddam had WMD’s since the first Gulf War.

I don’t see how anyone who has listened to Kerry can think he would make a better President than Bush. I think Hillary would make a better president than Kerry, although that thought will give me nightmares tonight. At this point though, I’m sick of the ads, I’m sick of the MSM and their tired line of negativity, I’m tired of the signs (with the sole exception of my co-worker’s “Al Qaeda for Kerry” sticker), and I’m tired of Kerry & Edwards. I wish I could be certain it would be over after the next 2 weeks.

Atlanta Crash

I have just watched local coverage of the crash mentioned in the post below. It appears that the plane may have lost an engine, spun out, and crashed. I FLY IN THE ATLANTA AREA, and I can assure everyone that NO plane could or would be doing any aerobatics in the vicinity of downtown Atlanta! Everyone is under positive control of Atlanta Approach, and it would not be tolerated. In addition, the Beech Baron, the type that crashed, is not approved for, nor capable of, aerobatics. The last couple of times I flew into Atlanta, much to the horror of my wife, I flew directly into Hartsfield, one of the busiest airports in the world. All of our local pilots wanted to touch me, to get my autograph – Oh, I’m kidding, but most pilots of small planes (I have a Cherokee, 4-place, single engine) are afraid to fly into places like Hartsfield. You have to mix it up with 767′s, 727′s, MD-80′s, etc. But it’s no problem, approach sends you into holding patterns, doglegs, and all kinds of maneuvers, in order to put you into flow, and then they clear you to land. Piece of cake, in spite of the wife’s fainting spells! I went up there to pick up our granddaughter coming in from Colorado (Later, to take her back) and she didn’t even blink, she loved it….I guess my not fearing Atlanta is because I started out flying in a positive-control environment. Jacksonville, FL, Fort Meyers, FL, New Orleans, etc.

I’m really sorry to hear about the crash, it makes everyone in the General Aviation community sad to lose pilots and their passengers. Flying is still the safest mode of travel, much safer than by car, but crashes always grab headlines. In a city the size of Atlanta, there will undoubtedly be more than two people killed in auto accidents today, but they will make only the local news, if at all.

Memo: Anyone Feeling a Draft in Here?

From: Sgt Mom
To: Joe/Josephine College
Re: A Slight Draft

1. I take up my club yet once again to play whack-a-mole with the issue of (cue scary, menacing music!) a military draft. Every time it is whacked to the ground, this little urban legend pops up again vigorously and undented, so please pardon the somewhat uncharacteristic testiness in my voice. I do not enjoy repeating myself, and the suspicion in some circles is that the rumors of a proposed draft are being carefully and artificially fanned by the winds of election-year politics.

2. So, pay attention, class; take careful notes for there may very well be a pop quiz shortly. Write them in reverse writing in indelible ink on your forehead or any other body part which you are accustomed to looking at in the mirror. Whatever it will take to etch the following indelibly upon your awareness:

The American military establishment does not want a draft! A draft would be like kryptonite to Superman, garlic to a vampire, like Woody Allen signed to play for the San Antonio Spurs! That is, an element not only toxic but #%*#ing useless!

3. Clear on that concept yet, Joe/Josephine? We— that is the professional, all- volunteer, extremely specialist military— have no use for minimally trained personnel of the sort which used to be called “cannon fodder”; that is, enormous numbers of men, hastily trained to march and shoot, and directed straight into the trenches or the front, or wherever. We’ll leave that sort of malpractice to the Russians, okay? It’s not quantity that rules on the battlefield today, its quality; quality that takes time to build, to standards that are demanding, selective, rigorous. The standards are such that only people who really, really want to be there have any hope of meeting them. This is not your dad’s military, Joe/Josephine, and it is definitely not your grandfathers’.

4. As a career NCO in the volunteer military, what makes you think I (or any other NCO) are in any way keen to try and accomplish our mission with a bunch of slackers who don’t want to be there? WE DO NOT WANT YOUR USELESS, UNFIT, WHINY, NASTY ASSES! NOT NOW! NOT AFTER THE ELECTION! NOT EVER! CLEAR ON THE CONCEPT, ARE WE? ANSWER UP, JOE/JOSEPHINE– I CAN’T HEAR YOU!

5. Finally, as someone near and dear to you thinks you are smart enough to be worth the tuition, you should be asking yourself: “Self, who is telling me that the draft is coming back and why are they telling me now?” You’re bright kids, Joe/Josephine. Do a bit of thinking. And when you come up with an answer, do let me know. We’d like to have a serious, life-changing talk with whoever is keeping this draft thing going. Blankets and bars of soap in GI socks may be involved in the discussion.

Sincerely, Sgt Mom

Monster Army

On tonight’s episode of Discovery Channel’s hit Monster Garage, a team of Army mechanics turns a WWII Willys jeep into a twin-supercharged 502 Chevy powered tractor-puller. Oh yeah baby!

The host, chopper master builder, and general media personality Jesse James just commented on a distinct difference with this crew: ” Everybody’s just doin’ their jobs. Nobody’s sittin’ on the couch looking at catalogues, or pointing fingers acting like an expert.” Army discipline in action.

Here’s to the crew:

THE DESIGNERS

* Jesse James, custom-bike builder/designer, West Coast Choppers, Long Beach, Calif.
* Joe Eder, multi-engine tractor-pull builder, North Collins, N.Y.
* Keith Kaucher, industrial designer, Kaucher Design Werks, Santa Monica, Calif.
* Chief Warrant Officer 3 Kevin Sargent, utilities operations and maintenance technician, Headquarters Company/1st Engineer Brigade, Fort Leonard Wood, Mo.
* 2nd Lt. Brian Johnson/2LT, armor officer, 1st Battalion/16th Cavalry Regiment, Fort Knox, Ky.

THE BUILDERS

* Jesse James, custom-bike builder/designer, West Coast Choppers, Long Beach, Calif.
* Joe Eder, multi-engine tractor-pull builder, North Collins, N.Y.
* Pfc. Jesse Dugan, wheel vehicle mechanic, D Company/801st Main Support Brigade, Fort Campbell, Ky.
* 2nd Lt. Brian Johnson/2LT, armor officer, 1st Battalion/16th Cavalry Regiment, Fort Knox, Ky.
* Staff Sgt. Jeffrey Morin, light-wheeled vehicle mechanic, Headquarters Company/187 Ordnance Battalion, Fort Jackson, S.C.
* Tim Porter, single-engine tractor-pull builder, Louisberg, Ky.
* Master Sgt. Darrick Preston, mechanical maintenance supervisor, 16th Ordnance Battalion/Aberdeen Proving Ground, Abingdon, Md.
* Chief Warrant Officer 3 Kevin Sargent, utilities operations and maintenance technician, Headquarters Company/1st Engineer Brigade, Ft. Leonard Wood, Mo.
* Spc. Benjamin Smith, metalworker, D Company/801st Mechanical Support Brigade, Fort Campbell, Ky.

If you look up “Useful Idiots” in the dictionary…

… you’d likely see one of these pictures (hat tip: Instapundit who directs us to the very funny Tim Blair).

These pictures are to be made available “for broadcast and publication in Iraq.”

I’d like to think that many of the people in these pictures are simply clueless and have not considered what this will do to help the opposition in Iraq (thus hurting our troops). This is certainly the case for the unfortunate children in these reprehensible photos.

My guess is that the adults, though, have given little thought to our brave men and women fighting for Iraqi freedom and democracy. So much for the phony “we support the troops” cry of the anti-war crowd. This undermines everything our troops are doing in Iraq. It places them in danger. It hurts morale. Thus, it aids our enemies.

Wonder how many of these people even care.

I think Hindrocket at Powerline says it best:

Frankly, I find it hard to imagine how Iraqis will react to this scheme. Probably it will confirm their impression that America is a rather weird place. I do think I can predict how our troops will respond, however. I think they’ll share my contempt.

Mine too, Hindrocket.

The Guardian’s Attempt To Unseat Bush

That bastion of unobjective British liberalism, The Guardian, started a campaign last week to get their readers to write letters the voters of Clark County, Ohio, urging them to vote George W. Bush out. And further, to give money to US 527 organizations devoted to helping John Kerry. They have published three letters from prominent Britons here.

What lame thinking on the part of The Guardian. They really don’t understand the American mindset. They don’t understand, that we believe liberty is not a product of one’s culture, or a gift from one’s sovereign, but an inalienable right to which all are entitled, no matter where they might live on this Earth. Indeed, many of us believe the words, :”we hold these truths to be self evident…” were divinely inspired.

That’s why, I predict, their attempts to influence our election will be met by those who receive these letters with mostly reactions ranging from indignation to laughing hysteria.

Rites, Legends and Lore #10: Supply and Demand

I had forgotten, until I read Timmer’s essay on the fiscal year-end rush to spend windfall funds, when there is leftover money in the unit budget, and everyone must have a list of nice-to-haves, all neatly costed out and prioritized, for that money MUST be spent. The rationale is that if you have surplus money left over at the end of the year, then your unit has obviously been given more than you need, and in the next years’ budget the Powers That Be will adjust your budget to cover those needs with not a penny left over. So firm in the belief that what they can to do you, they invariably would, great care is taken to spend exactly what you have been budgeted for the year, and funds that have been set aside and held against a rainy-day emergency are up for grabs once it is clear that the year is nearly over without that emergency occurring. So doubly blessed units like Timmers’ can revel in ordering lavishly, filling their supply room with extra stock, which may later serve as the raw materiel in the machinations of the scrounge, swapping for favors from units less blessed.

Alas, for my time in AFRTS field units, we were the less blessed; budget wise, we were the illegitimate red-haired step child, and so far from having any sort of year end-surplus (and joyously spending same) during the last month of the old fiscal year, we would be looking at an empty cupboard, and shifting our last typewriter correction tape from typewriter to typewriter depending on who needed to correct something, and bringing light-bulbs from home. I also clearly remember carefully re-winding that last correction tape to the beginning again, so dire was our predicament: three weeks to go, and $%**#-all in our supply account.

At other times, the supplies just weren’t there at all, especially when waaaaaay out at the end of the supply chain. For some reason, AFRTS-Sondrestom Greenland was perennially out of splicing tape, used during those pre-electronic editing days when you marked the edit points with a tick from a black grease pencil, sliced on the tick mark with a single-edged razor blade, butted the two segments together and applied a length of white audio editing tape to hold it together. (We were strictly enjoined from using scotch tape for this purpose because the sticky element would run, and damage the audio tape, as well as collecting all sorts of crud at the edit point, resulting in a noisy and very audible sound as it went over the playback head… although— true story— I once did see a piece of 16mm film with an edit held together by a couple of metal staples. As in Stanley Bostitch office supply staples. ) As production chief, I had a packet of pre-cut tape splices in my desk, and dealt them out one at a time, upon presentation of a really good justification as to why this audio edit was really, really necessary. “We need splicing tape!” I would plead with the station manager, who would shrug and say, “It’s been on order, since last month/last quarter/time and memory began.” We got by with begging for packets of splicing tape from our sister-station at Thule, and when our order finally did arrive (by rowboat, around the Horn and across the western Atlantic, apparently) we had to send half of it to Thule in repayment for tiding us over.

Even having money in the account and supplies in the supply room/cupboard did not mean that supply would meet demand; the supply NCO at AFKN/Yongsan was not disposed to helpful on the day when I decided to train some of the other broadcasters in good newsroom habits, and provide them with an invaluable tool of the trade; to whit, a spiral bound steno notebook.
“Sorry, no can do today. I’ll get you four of ‘em when I go to central supply tomorrow.” I looked over his Army buzz-cut head to the shelf immediately behind him. There was a stack of spiral steno notebooks.
“You have ten of them right there, “I pointed out, doing my best to remain civil and non-judgmental. “And I need them right now. Why can’t you just give me four notebooks now.”?
”No can do, Sarge. I might get inspected, I gotta have ‘em on the shelf.”
“So…” I looked at him, “I am understanding this correctly— the purpose of your supply room stock is not to actually provide supplies as they are needed, but to make the supply room look good for a theoretical inspection?”
“Well… yeah. You gotta come back for those notebooks tomorrow, Sarge. You want how many? Four?”
“Never mind, I would hate to disturb your levels of stock for your inspection,” I said grandly, and turned on my heel.

I went straight down the little winding path that came out in the BX parking lot at the foot of the hill, went in and bought four steno notebooks out of my own pocket for the news trainees— a whole two bucks, but at least ten dollars worth of no hassle with an Army unit stockroom, and not the first time I ever subsidized the military industrial complex out of my own pocket.

Other heartrending tales of deprivation, supply skullduggery and budget excess are warmly invited in comments.

Also, I still have a qualitity of copies of the book, if you want to get an autographed copy directly from me: Paypal or check, just e-mail and let me know