The “I Peed Myself a Little” Story

Okay, so you guys want more military memoirs, here’s one I’ve threatened to tell since I got here and never got around to it.

This is mostly from a letter I sent home from the end of January, 1991. Thanks to Paddy for saving it. The rest is from memory, and you know how that goes. And I make no apologies for the rough language, it’s the way I talked back then.

Operation Desert Storm, January, 1991. Southwest Saudi Arabia, Team Stealth. F-117s in the hangars and surrounded by Arabs.

As is always the case on a deployment, the cops are overworked and getting a little crispy around the edges because they’re working, they’re trying to eat, they’re trying to keep their uniforms somewhat professional looking, some of them are trying to keep their PT up, and oh yeah, when there’s time left, they try to sleep through all the prayer calls. Cranky cops are okay for a little bit but you don’t want youngsters with guns with bad attitudes wandering around a foreign country…especially Saudi Arabia where the locals are a bit more…sure of themselves…have a healthy sense of self-esteem…oh fuck it…where the locals are the most arrogant sons a bitches you’d ever want to meet. And I know from arrogant, I used to think it was a positive character trait instead of defect.

Back then when the cops got a bit over-worked, we augmented them. By that I don’t mean we attended traffic pattern safety school and put on an orange vest and got RSD from waving cars in the gate, I mean we grabbed a gun, flack jacket and helmets and we sat posts or rode patrols and we basically did what the cops did. We watched, we reported, we told the locals, “Stay away from our airplanes.”

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Entertainment Trivia For 1/23/06

Note that, on coming back from hiatus, I’ve changed the name of this series from “Movie Trivia” to “Entertainment Trivia.” I think that’s appropriate, as some of the earlier puzzles were only tangentially related to the movies. This gives me more liberty.

So, here goes: In 1925, this scientist turned down a $100,000 consulting job from Samuel Goldwyn. Extra credit: name the picture.

THE ANSWER! Sorry for not getting this out yesterday, as promised. I had this really good essay on psychoanalysis and the cinema, but I forgot to bookmark it, and now I can’t find it. As you might guess now, Sigmund Freud is the scientist, as Goldwyn considered him the world’s foremost authority on matters of love and romance. The extra credit was a trick question, as I can find no evidence that the idea ever even got far enough to be given a working title. But the first film Goldwyn had in mind was to be about Anthony and Cleopatra.

As Jay Tea has demonstrated, there are still some skeptics. But, in 1925, the science of psychoanalysis got almost no respect at all. Much of this was racist, with psychoanalysis being widely labeled as “Jew science.” This didn’t exist in Hollywood, of course, as virtually all the movers and shakers were Jews themselves.

Note: Time tag jiggered

Chocolate, Walnut, Saltine Treats

In case you haven’t figured it out, I like simple when it comes to cooking. Picked this one up from my Mom last weekend. Make a batch of this and bring it to an event, be sure you bring copies of the recipe. Tastes like a chocolate covered brittle.

Groceries
1-2 Sleeves Saltine Crackers (Salted).
1 Cup Light or Dark Brown Sugar (Depends on your taste.).
2 Sticks Butter.
6 Regular Size Hershey Bars.
1 Cup Chopped Walnuts.

Preheat oven to 400.
Line 9×13 jellyroll pan with foil.
Line foil with crackers.
Melt butter and brown sugar in sauce pan until well blended.
Pour butter/sugar mixture over crackers.
Bake for 5 minutes
Place Hershey bars on top. Be careful, 400 degrees of butter and sugar is HOT.
Do NOT place back in oven, the chocolate will melt.
When melted, spread chocolate smooth.
Sprinkle walnuts over chocolate.
Place in freezer for 1/2 hour.
Peel off foil and break into pieces.
If still “wet” let sit overnight, uncovered, in the refrigerator.

I’m From The Government, And I’m Here To Help You Vote

Cheshire (pop. 3500) is a sleepy little town in the Berkshires, which doesn’t even have their own website. Now, by orders from on high, their elections are being rocketed into the information age:

Cheshire, Massachusetts is getting a new electronic voting machine much to the chagrin of local leaders. Last week, the Selectmen said that they would not buy a machine, which the state has mandated through the federal Help American Vote Act (HAVA).

The state has decided that it will provide the new machine, and the town will have to use it. The machine will come with programming for state and federal elections, but not local elections. Programming for local elections will cost the town $1,000 each election.

The town has not hesitated in expressing its anger over the action of the state. Selectman Paul F. Astorino said, “We don’t want it!”

The action is part of Secretary of State William F. Galvin’s plan to have the state comply with HAVA. This new machine, and others like it arriving in surrounding small towns, will replace paper ballots and provide better voting access to the handicap.

Diane Feinstein Quaking In Her Boots…

As Cindy Sheehan issues “filibuster Alito” ultimatum, threatening to run against her:

“I’m appalled that Diane Feinstein wouldn’t recognize how dangerous Alito’s nomination is to upholding the values of our constitution and restricting the usurpation of presidential powers, for which I’ve already paid the ultimate price,” Sheehan said in a statement.

I think the angry left has some sort of inside bet going to see who can get the most absurd. John Kerry is calling for impeachment from Davos Switzerland. Howard Dean is going to be on Fox News Sunday. I can’t wait to see what he says to top this.

Impeachment

As the left wing of the dems implode, one mantra d’jour seems to be that Bush broke the law with the wiretaps and that he should therefore be impeached. Let’s see of I can set the record straight on how these things really work. Numerous attorneys have looked at this and concluded that Bush was operating within his authority based on the legislation passed after 9/11 and the powers granted to the executive branch by Article II of the Constitution (forget FISA, it is irrelevent to this discussion). While it is nice from the perspective of watch guarding our civil rights that they had an army of lawyers look into whether the actions were legal, there is another purpose for such an extensive legal review that is not ever discussed in the MSM. That is that their conclusion (that the taps are permitted under law) is an opinion of counsel that mitigates against any allegation that he broke the law. Opinions of counsel are routinely used in the business world for this very reason. If I, as a business person, engage in activities that exceed the bounds permitted by law, but proceed because in my own opinion I am legal, then I have no defense (ignorance of the law is no excuse…). On the other hand, if my lawyer, who is an officer of the court, tells me that I am OK, then I have a legitimate defense. While avoiding the debate of whether or not the taps were legal (I believe they were), my point is that if the issue is heard by the Supreme Court and they decide the taps were not legal, it will not be a decision that Bush broke the law, but rather an interpretation of what the laws mean that runs counter to the NSA, White House, and DOJ lawyer’s. If he were then to proceed in a manner inconsistent with that decision, then there would be a criminal issue.

Another point that seems to have been lost in the discussion is that Congress does not have the power to pass a law that usurps the powers given to the Executive Branch under the Constitution. The upshot of this distinction is that even if it is found by a court that the administration’s activities fall outside legislation passed by Congress, the relevant question becomes whether the legislation was lawful in the first place. If this plays out in the Supreme Court, as I suspect it eventually will, my gut feel is that this secondary question will be part and parcel of the arguments.

See, watching Judge Judy does have its benefits. I would be interested in comments from any readers who are lawyers or judges.

Radar

If I Had Only An Extra $50.4K Floating Around

With only 3 bids entered, a spot in the Toyota Grand Prix of Long Beach Pro/Celebrity Race went for only $50,350.00 on eBay. The deal includes…

[...use] of a new, race-ready Scion tC, hitting more than 100 mph in the 10-lap sprint over the legendary 1.97-mile, 11-turn Long Beach street circuit, running fender-to-fender with a group of to-be-announced celebrities from movies, TV and sports, as well as professional drivers. Bidding starts at $50,000.

Past celebrities in the race have included George Lucas, Cameron Diaz, Gene Hackman, Patrick Dempsey, Jay Leno, John Elway and Ashley Judd, along with professionals Danica Patrick, Scott Pruett and Parnelli Jones.

The high bidder also receives, courtesy of Toyota:

  • Four days of professional driver’s training at Fast Lane Driving School, Rosamond, CA,
  • Pre-event Press Day prior to race weekend and other media activities,
  • Custom-made driving gear, including suit, shoes, gloves and helmet,
  • First-class air fare and hotel accommodations for training, press day and race weekend, with ground transportation for race related events only,
  • A $5,000 donation from Toyota in the high bidder’s name to “Racing for Kids,” a national program benefiting two children’s hospitals in Southern California, and
  • A VIP pass for 2 for a private celebrity event immediately following the Saturday, April 8.

All procedes go to the Grand Prix Foundation of Long Beach.

As for me, it looks like I’ll be catching the OCTA 60 into town to watch the race from a streetcorner. :)