Caption This One (060825) Da Winnahs!!!


(U.S. Air Force photo/Staff Sgt. Ryan Hansen)

1.) Sgt Schultz: In preparation for the next release of Power Point the new uniform requirements for the HQ personnel is unveiled.

2.) Andrew V.: While showing the rest of the gang the new X-Ray goggles he ordered from the back of a comic book Major West made a startling discovery: “Holy Cow! The Generals wife isn’t wearing underwear!”

3.) ipw533: “OMIGAWD!!! She’s gonna do WHAT with that thing?! Quick–gimme another roll of quarters…!!”

Honorable Mention goes to DemoMan for a Geeky, Second City/SNL Team quote: “Oh my God, it’s a focused, non-terminal repeating phantasm–a class-five, full-roaming vapor!”

Questions of the Day (060824)

Wouldn’t it be funny if Iran really didn’t have anything? And wouldn’t it be funnier if they kept on making threats and making it sound like they had more than they actually did? And wouldn’t it be absolutely hilarious if we invaded Iran based on those assumptions?

What? You’ve heard it?

Okay, how about this one?

Twelve Imams walk into a bar…

Road Trip! (wanna come along?)

I always hesitate to publish my travel plans – not becuase I think they should remain private, but because in my job, they are always subject to change.

For example: at the beginning of this week, my travel schedule was as follows:

This week in Mobile, all week.
Next week near Lafayette, LA, for 2 days (with 1 travel day on each side of that)
Labor Day week in Austin, TX for 2 days (with 1 travel day on each side).
Week of 9/11 in Clifton, NJ, all week.

Since I used to live in San Antonio (one of the best places I’ve ever lived), and since I still have good friends there (as well as blog compatriots), I decided to drive from Atlanta to Mobile (5 hours), Mobile to Lafayette (5 hours), and then Lafayette to San Antonio (5-6 hours), spend Labor Day weekend visiting my friends, and head up to Austin Monday night so I could be at the client site Tues a.m.

So Monday in Mobile, when I check my email at lunchtime, I find that the Lafayette trip has been postponed, for now, and they’re not sure they have anywhere for me to go next week.

I thought about that, in light of my desire to be with my friends Labor Day weekend, and how I was trying to figure out how to grab more time with them, and how I had been looking forward to driving across MS and seeing how Biloxi has changed in the last year. I know they were hit hard by Katrina, and are rebuilding, and it’s the first chance I ‘ve had to go that way in a while. The last time I remember being in Biloxi was 1998, on a business trip.

So I’ve put in a vacation request for next week, and I’m going to head west from Mobile this weekend, going where my fancy takes me, stopping when I take the notion, and eventually winding up in San Antonio. I’ll either use hilton points to stay free at hotels, or I’ll buy a blanket and towel somewhere, and camp in the car. Had I thought about camping, I’d have brought my tent, but I wasn’t expecting to have that much time for my travel.

I”ve not thought much about my route yet, other than being determined to avoid one particular bridge on IH-10 that passes from LA into TX. My heights phobia doesn’t mix well with that bridge. I’ve got an internet friend in Beaumont I want to meet, so I’m hoping that will work out, and another in Gulfport. Other than that, my itinerary is open.

So… who wants to come along? Or to put it a different way, those of you scattered around the world, is there some part of the Gulf Coast that you’re wondering about, since Katrina? I can meander with the best of them, taking back roads to get from one place to another, and will be happy to go off the beaten track and take pics for you. My only caveat is don’t ask me to go into New Orleans. Cities don’t usually interest me, and I’m more interested in seeing the small towns and the invisible survivors – the ones who didn’t make the headlines, or quickly faded from them. Pascagoula, Pass Christian, other towns farther inland that still got hit by the surge – that’s where my personal interest lies. I’ll drive into Biloxi and see how Beauvoir looks – it’s not reopened yet, and I’m not sure when it will, but I need to see it. It’s one of my favorite memories of Biloxi. That and their beach.

I’m also planning to be a typical tourist, stopping at attractions when they pique my interest. So does anyone have any suggestions for must-see things? Swamp tours in LA, Cajun history, etc?

Conservatives ask FBI to investigate hotel porn

Reason number 242 why I’ll never consider myself a conservative.

It’s not that I’m pro-hardcore-porn, I prefer classic pin up styles myself, but, call me weird, I just think the FBI and the Justice Department have more important work to do than to be investigating cable hotel porn. I would like them spending less time on porn and what goes on in America’s bedrooms, either rented or owned, and more time on catching terrrorists and child-molesters.

22 Aug 06

Yawn!

Well, I’m going to bed now. If the apocolypse comes, don’t wake me. I’ve got a Wing Fun Run in the morning.

It’s a Car! It’s a Boat!

I can so imagine my Dad doing something as essentially demented, but completely logical as this… had he been been born somewhere like Cuba, instead of being a second-generation Brit and citizen of the US of A.

It’s a pity in a way that the “truckonauts” all apparently live now in Florida – Dad would love to swap tools and techniques with them. (Hey, Paul… you ever consider building something like this, out of an old car??!!!)

(found via Tim Blair)

Not All Tears Are Sad

So…we haven’t been camping yet this year because our old 5-Man tent is getting old and to be honest, neither Beautiful Wife (BW) nor myself are up for sleeping on the ground anymore. Takes too long to get moving in the morning and both of us get darn cranky by the end of the weekend.

We’d been playing with the idea of a popup or a 5th Wheel, but I’ve been in a popup in really bad weather and we just can’t afford a 5th Wheel. It’s getting to be that time of year in our area where the winds are kicking up again and a squall could come down off the Rockies and totally take out anything nylon.

A few months ago BW saw a special on one of the cable networks, Discovery, History, Travel, one of those, on the history of the Teardrop Trailer and we’ve been looking around for an affordable version ever since. I’ve looked at the kits and the plans to build our own and ya know, if I was that handy, that might be kinda cool. But I’m better with electrons and circuit boards than I am with hammers and nails. I’m a whiz of a rough carpenter, but free cutting arcs and the like? Not so much. My wife’s the one who looks at a fully loaded Craftsman CTK and grunts like Tim the Toolman, not me.

Anyway, on Tuesday, we’ll be bringing this home:

Marine grade plywood with a fiberglass laminate, basically a boat cabin on wheels. Got the extra little platform for stuff. It comes with a queen sized “pad” but I’m thinking a futon would serve us well.

Now, we’re going to be messing with this thing like you wouldn’t believe. BW watches just about every DIY show that’s on and is already looking for curtains and other accessories. Kitchen gear will still be pure Coleman until we can get it transplanted and integrated into the rear galley. When we camp, we don’t “rough it” when it comes to food. We don’t bring dehydrated, we don’t live on power bars, we eat well. BW has her portable spice rack in her cookie kit.

Update: Okay, so we’re not bringin’ it home until Thursday or Friday. Apparently there’s a shortage of hitches for a 2005 Santa Fe.

The Falling Man

With all the recent photo-fakery attendent upon the fighting in Lebanon being much discussed in the blogosphere, I ran across a curious discussion of historic and iconic war photographs, and the chances that they were faked in some way, either by being staged, or having certain essential bits of information left out upon publication and dissemination.

I don’t remember hearing any of the aspersions about Robert Capa’s fameous snap of a Spanish Loyalist, caught by chance at the instant of death, but there is a rather fascinating story here, of how it was proved authentic, after all, and the soldier even given a name.

I would wonder if such a photo of a soldier today might be splashed all over the front page, above the fold… but I already know the answer to that one.

The Empty Lands

Being that I am writing away on the book every moment that I can, this means a lot of computer time, building intricate castles of conversations and descriptions. Or leafing through my own books, or googling for bits of authentic and corroborative detail to lend convincing detail to the narrative: like, what would have been used in a makeshift humidifier in the early 1800s, or what would a teamster done to have treated an ox with sore feet? What would Ft. Laramie of 1844 been constructed of (adobe and timber, actually, there are paintings of it, too), what were all the names of the children and the wives in the Stephens-Townsend party? That and a thousand other questions send me back to the books constantly, since I really need to write about them with authority, and dislike the thought of being nibbled to death by the ducks of absolute authenticity.

It all does remind me though, of what most Europeans tend to forget or don’t realize in the first place… that the continental US is really, really huge, and terribly empty, and not much like most of Western Europe, although I think maybe the Russian “outback” might come close. There are bits of Scotland, that if you squint and pay no mind to the stone walls, can look sort of, kind of a bit like Appalachia. No wonder the Scots-Irish got off the boat and headed for the hills and hardly ever came down out of them again.

That part of Southern Spain called the Extremadura can pass as a small scrap of the Southwest all dry scrub and red dirt, if you can ignore the occasional fortified hill-town, so the hard-fighting poor noblemen from Trujillo took to Mexico and the southwest like ducks to water, if they were ducks and there were water, of course. This vast emptiness must have come as a horrible shock otherwise, to those who came as immigrants, from the 17th century on, especially once over the coastal mountains, and once out of the cities along the coastline fringe: Boston, and Charleston, and Savannah… which at a squint could look like the newer parts of a European city.

As any baffled American on their first trip to Europe will tell you… gee, everything is pretty dinky over here, isn’t it? Ceilings are low, the old houses have teensy tiny rooms, the streets are narrow, and everything is really, really close together. (Unless you’re staying in a palace or a stately home, someplace, where the dining room is a good quarter mile from the kitchen.) I have always been convinced that Copenhagen, a charming and welcoming city to me as a teen-aged Girl Scout, was entirely built at 3/4th scale, somewhat like Disneyland. The Lake District to me looked like a twee and dainty pocket wilderness, carefully manicured and groomed to look like a wilderness without actually being one. And driving across Europe fifteen years later, the next town was always three or five, or at most, ten miles on. It never seemed that gas stations were more than a couple of mile apart along the major roads. As Bill Cosby pointed out, in half an hour you’re in a whole ‘nother language! No, I can very well imagine that in the middle of the 1800s the most common reaction of someone straight off the boat from Hamburg, or Bergen or Liverpool to being plunked down in the Platte River valley, or the Great Basin of the Rockies would have been to assume the fetal position underneath the nearest piece of heavy furniture.

It was big and empty then, empty of all people but a scattering of nomadic Indian tribes; no established roads, other than printed on the land by iron-wheeled wagons, and what fortresses and settlements which did exist, with the exception of a scattering of adobe towns in what is now New Mexico and California, were new and raw. No terraces of grapevines or sheep-folds, no crumbing Roman or medieval ruins poking up from the grass, like bones of the land. No castles or cathedrals, with a thousand years worth of architectural accretions, or towns with a similarly aged collection of traditions, rituals and feuds. No, none of that, just the sky and the wind, and the land beneath it all, empty to the farthest horizon. It would have taken a particular sort of daring to venture out into that vast, indifferent wilderness, stepping away from the security of the known and knowable, and going… well, somewhere.

And it’s still pretty empty… there was a stretch along I-15 in Utah where it was fifty miles to the next gas station, and there’s another out on I-40, out east of Kingman: a hundred miles to the next one, and not a damned thing constructed by man that you can see except for the road itself, and the power-lines along side.

Question(s) of the Day (060819)

I’m going to be buying a handgun in the next year or so.

More info as requested: Personal and home defense and of course I’m going to practice with it. I’ve already got a 12 gauge that I’m not sure works and is going to the gunsmith this week for an overhaul and test firing. It’s a 1947 Ithica Featherlite that may have been fired a total of 5 times. It was my Dad’s and it’s more of an emotional thing than anything else. I have to agree, a round being pumped into a chamber of a shotgun can stop a bad guy in his tracks. True Story: One of my Sister’s former Sister-in-laws was a cop down in Dallas. She’d flanked a bad buy in a parking lot and chambered a round of her shotgun right behind him. Heart attack killed him right there.

Boyo’s probably getting a Daisy in the next month or so for plinking and general gun safety training. He’s 10, it’s time.

What I’m seeing in the comments makes me feel good. The 45 or good ol’ 357 was where my head was going.

What would you recommend? Why?

And yes, the cost of a good, easy to open safe is already part of the plan, you don’t need to go there with me. Boyo is smart and well-behaved but he’s also all-boy and I have no delusions that he wouldn’t let curiosity get the best of him.