1. Borrow a tall ladder from the next door neighbor.
2. Climb up to the top of the fiberglass and lattice porch roof on a hot afternoon.
3. Cover your hands and lower arms with a couple of thicknesses of those long plastic sleeves that the newspaper comes in, on rainy mornings. (OK, so those came from the neighbor, also. I cancelled my subscription to the San Antonio Express news a couple of years ago. The neighbor hasn’t, and she has bags of the damned things.)
4. Reach under the eave of the house and gently scoot the remains of an extremely defunct opossum towards the edge of the porch. Said remains are practically liquid
5. Attempt to ignore the truly amazing stench. And the squirming maggots.
6. Scoop it all into a very large black plastic trash bag and remove.
7. Silently curse neighbors who are putting out poison for the rats and opossums.
And by the way, it took several hours and a couple of glasses of chablis to banish the smell. Just thought you would like to know, in case it happens to you
You have my sympathy. But honestly, better you than me
Comment by Joe — 20080721 @ 0747
Can’t say I ever did that. Nope. And I agree with Joe, my sympathies and all that. Having suffered that sweet smell of decaying rat after I poisoned a nest of them in my Houston garage one summer and 23 rats later I smelled the last of them. They all picked peculiar places to die, such as the one that expired on the exhaust manifold of my Chevy Celebrity station wagon, subsequently cooked to a piquant aroma and desired crispness during the 8 mile trip to school. My oldest son revisited his breakfast and I just about joined him in the the upchuck chorus. Ahhh, savor the unsavory memories…. and have another glass!
Comment by Joec — 20080721 @ 1814
Poison? Don’t you folks have real dogs in Texas? You neighbors are jerks.
Comment by tyree — 20080805 @ 2359