Category Archives: The Funny

Military Geek Humor

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Yes, never underestimate the capacity for extremely bored and intelligent military personnel in amusing themselves.
Yeeks – and this was even published in a presumably responsible military-oriented publication.
Kinda puts my whole being sarcastic about the movies scheduled for late Friday night at Zaragosa AB in the local TV Guide kinda pale … although I did have viewers now and again tell me that they stayed up deliberatly to watch them, just so see if they were as awful as I hinted that they were.

Enjoy. This is funnier than any of my movie promos were.

Things That Make You Start to Laugh Uncontrollably

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So there we were last Monday evening , sharpening up our awareness of odd things one might pick up at a yard sale or a thrift store for fifty cents or a dollar and which might later turn out to be worth a small or medium-sized fortune, by watching Antiques Road Show (US version) when this particular item was spotlighted for an appraisal. (Go ahead, take a look, you won’t regret it. I’ll wait.)
This episode was a repeat from 2009, actually – our local PBS station depends heavily on repeats, which is one reason I have never pledged to them. (The other being that they would never hire me, although as a retired AFRTS type, I was perfectly qualified for any job they had on offer. Deal with that, KLRN!)
And my daughter took one look at it: having picked up a considerable vocabulary of Brit-speak, through hanging out at various on-line fora, (as well as reading the Daily Mail Online every morning) she exclaimed,

“Balls!”

It’s a family curse – an unexpectly ribald sense of humor, which I blame on my father — or the fact that both of us were some years in the military — not a place you go for refined comedy … because the pictured item immediatly called this novelty item to mind. I began to sing,

“Do your balls hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them o’er your shoulder
like a Continental Soldier?”
I swear, we laughed, hysterically and uncontrollably all the way through the segment featuring this pot. We even laughed through the following segment, about a pretty piece of custom-made early 19th century jewelry.

One of my daughter’s career ambitions is to buy something at a yard sale, estate sale, thrift store, or even to pick it up from the curb, take it to the next Antiques Road Show and discover it’s worth . . . well, a whole lot.

A pot like that isn’t one of them, though. Although in this current economy, we could certainly make use of the amusement value.

(Cross-posted last week at Chicago Boyz)

Another, Really?!! Moment

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With all the other things going on:  President Obama’s running away from Washington to Chicago; This administration making post-Hurricane Katrina look successful; The Obama Presidency throwing former President Clinton under the bus in the Sestak sleaze-fest.  You may have missed this bit of news yesterday.

I received this from the HQ NORAD/NORTHCOM GROUP on Facebook and…and…I had to laugh.  Yesterday the White House released their National Security Strategy.  On the White House Blog, the title of the post that announces the release of the strategy is, and I couldn’t make this up myself if I wanted to:

“A BLUEPRINT FOR PURSUING THE WORLD THAT WE SEEK.”

What amazes me is that we all know that there were meetings about this.  There was brain-storming.  If nothing else, this administration knows the value of a well-turned phrase so they WORK at it.  THIS is what they came up with.  It’s the best they could do.  So basically, they’re not even doing the image thing very well anymore.

I Love the Smell of Dripping Sarcasm in the Morning

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(From one of those e-mails going around, this one from the military broadcaster’s discussion group, a well-known nest of racists and terrorist sympathizers. This will no doubt get me on several watch lists as a person of doubleplusungoodness.)

Wonderful news! After astonishing the world by receiving the Nobel Peace Prize that was so richly deserved (according to the Democratic leadership and all right thinking people everywhere) Our Dear Leader Barack Hussein has been honored again; the Pentagon announced today that the wonderful light of greatness that is our glorious leader has been awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor! this after visiting a Marine Corps base last summer. General Sabot, the new military czar in charge of “honoring dear leaders” stated today “We know some reactionary types both in the civilian sector and those in the military (who unlike myself have had their decision making process clouded by actual combat experience) will not agree with this decision. Nevertheless, a careful review of a cellphone photo-capture of the presidents’ arrival clearly shows the light of virtue and really great greatness that is our savior and bringer of change, his majesty Barack (the peace bringer) He has the clear facial expressions of someone who is really going to do something really really brave and stuff!”

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi stated: “It’s about time we gave this award to someone who deserves it!” she then expanded: “In the recent past we have given this medal to mostly Warmongering military types who followed the orders of the disgraced prior administration! These mostly Republican types received this award while committing horrible war crimes during the period when this was a illegal war. It is appropriate then that his majesty be given this honor as the war has magically become legal under our more enlightened leadership.” Col. Savemyarss, under-military czar of “sayin’ good stuff about our dear leader” stated: “We believe this award is a proper follow up to all those on the General Staff who are now saying that the new administrations’ war plans are enlightened and much better than the old plans of the prior administration and that it is better way to show our loyalty to the new administration since after almost a year we still have no idea what the new administrations war plan are yet. But don”t take that to mean that I think that a year is to long to come up with a plan! It’s just about right! and I am sure the plan will be like the greatest ever! As a matter of fact I hear there is a school in New Jersey that is writing a new song of praise for our dear leader based on the wonderful new plan we all know he is putting together! “and that you can quote me on!”

For Your Amusement And Delectation

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The stupidest, least-convincing and most inept spam/quasi-Nigerian Email ever received by yr Humble Correspondent is pasted in its entirely for your amusement.

And you know what is the scariest part? There are no doubt one or two people who will fall for this. G*d only knows who they voted for in the last election, although I have well-founded suspicions.

Did you authorize Mr Lious parker(Kindly get back to me immediately)
Sunday, June 21, 2009 12:37 PM
From:
“Michael Povey”
Add sender to Contacts
To:
marrymalone14@gmail.com

–
From The Desk Of Impex diplomatic Courier Service.
STORAGE VAULT MANAGER
MR MICHAEL POVEY
BROOKLYN NEW YORK.
PHONE:904-352-7417
FAX: 206-666-3947
DATE:13/06/2009

Attn:

Did you authorize Mr. Louis Henrik who presented document of claim andin
hand(Cash) the storage Dumurage Fees of $5,500.00 purported to have been
signed by you for the release of your Consignment containing your Immunity
Rebuilding Grant of Five million five hundred thousand US Dollars ($5.5)
only, which was made out by United Nations Grant for affected people of the
last Hurricane Kathrine,(London Office) via Cash Payment Consignment
delivery to this storage outfit last week Monday. Why this, because the
Fund Certificate was credited to you,hence this later development of Mr.
Louis Henrik?

Ensure that you do not delay to get back soonest as this calls for urgent
and cogent attention to avoid misappropriation, misconception and
misconstrue in our records. If you did not give any Power of Attorney or
Authorization to the said Mr. Louis Henrik for claim of your Consignment
fund, please reconfirm immediately to avoid irregularities, as your
Consignment fund is now ready to be delivered to you once payment for
Storage Duty Fees are cleared out (based on the urgent instructions from
the Committee of Out Of The States Payments Board under the control of the
White House D.C).In summary to your Consignment Release Order,contact this
office by taking note to
complete the under listed:

Fill the information required below and send it to;
mickcontractor22@aol.com

ATTN..Mr Smith Tanner
THE MANAGER STORAGE VAULT DEPT
1) Your full …………………………
2) Residential ………………………..
3) Direct Cell-Phone/Mobile ……………
4) Age and marital ……………………
5) Company Name and Position if any ………..

As soon as this information is received and charges for dummurage cleraed
out by you, your consignment with Ref. No. UN/GRANT/UK/USA/09will be
delivered to you via a doorstep delivery by one of our agents.

Waiting for your Reply.
Mr. Michael Povey.
Management.

Burning Question for Today

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Ummm… ok, so I just saw this picture on another site, and went to find the link…

And, although I myself am now a lady of certain age and think it very bad taste to make fun of people’s looks, especially the somewhat aged and never-terribly-dishy… (glass houses, stones, and all that.)

Can anyone tell me when the heck Helen Thomas began to look like the Emperor Palpatine in drag?