Comments on: Literary Distraction http://www.ncobrief.com/index.php/archives/literary-distraction/ Military Musings and Thoughts Less Filtered Fri, 03 Feb 2012 21:43:01 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Sgt. Mom http://www.ncobrief.com/index.php/archives/literary-distraction/#comment-256586 Sgt. Mom Sun, 28 Jan 2007 15:47:50 +0000 http://www.ncobrief.com/index.php/archives/literary-distraction/#comment-256586 Margaret and her absent-minded doctor are two of those walk-on characters who threaten to become members of the cast... and one of the main reasons this might become more than one volumn! This chapter is a good way into the narrative, and most of the events that are alluded to here have been described as they happened from one character's viewpoint or another. Carl is a bit of an enigma to most of them, and this chapter is a means of explaining how and why he got to be that way. Margaret and her absent-minded doctor are two of those walk-on characters who threaten to become members of the cast… and one of the main reasons this might become more than one volumn!
This chapter is a good way into the narrative, and most of the events that are alluded to here have been described as they happened from one character’s viewpoint or another.
Carl is a bit of an enigma to most of them, and this chapter is a means of explaining how and why he got to be that way.

]]> By: Mark Rosenbaum http://www.ncobrief.com/index.php/archives/literary-distraction/#comment-256515 Mark Rosenbaum Sun, 28 Jan 2007 01:24:49 +0000 http://www.ncobrief.com/index.php/archives/literary-distraction/#comment-256515 Negative criticism, I'm afraid. To me this section bogs down for two reasons. First, the multiple flashbacks. Without seeing the rest of the work I don't know if it's practical to _show_ rather than _tell_ the back story, but the former is almost always the better choice. Second, the blocks of conversation seem overly large and should probably be broken up with a few more actions, even if trivial ones. You could use Margaret's interactions with the shaving gear, for example. That said, the characters are interesting, particularly Margaret, who reminds me of my maternal grandmother. Negative criticism, I’m afraid. To me this section bogs down for two reasons.

First, the multiple flashbacks. Without seeing the rest of the work I don’t know if it’s practical to _show_ rather than _tell_ the back story, but the former is almost always the better choice.

Second, the blocks of conversation seem overly large and should probably be broken up with a few more actions, even if trivial ones. You could use Margaret’s interactions with the shaving gear, for example.

That said, the characters are interesting, particularly Margaret, who reminds me of my maternal grandmother.

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