30. April 2005 · Comments Off on Memo to Conspiracy Theorists: · Categories: General Nonsense, Stupidity

Some people, including a lot of Americans, see things happen and they assume the worst about everyone involved. They assume there’s a cover up. They assume the politicians are lying. Of course the U.S. Military is lying because we’ve never told the truth about anything ever. I know, I was one of those folks. I believed all that stuff even as I was joining the Air Force 21 years ago.

And then life happened. I grew up. I got some experience under my belt and realized that most conspiracy theories are crap. The reason that most conspiracy theories are crap is simple; Most folks when given the opportunity will do the right thing versus the wrong thing simply because it’s the right thing to do. I know…I had a hard time believing it myself at first, and as life went on it just became more and more apparent to me that the people I’ve met in the military aren’t walking around wondering exactly how they were going to do the absolute WORST they could. They strive to do the BEST they can. Almost every one of them. There’s another reason why the most elaborate military conspiracies don’t hold up under scrutiny…we’re just not that good at keeping bizarre crap quiet…but that’s another post for another day.

Scumbags don’t last long in the military. We usually weed them out in basic or advanced training. If not, we’ll get them during an exercise when the pressure is cranked up to above and beyond normal. Sometimes though…they slip through. Rarely do they make it to the higher ranks, and even when they do…we get them…because they’re the rarity, they’re the exception, and no one has unlimited, unchecked power because though the respect of their rank may get them some coverage…without personal respect, they just don’t last. The higher you climb the more eyes you have on you, both from above and below and if you don’t have that personal respect, you ain’t gonna make it long.

Basically the military’s dirtiest, blackest, most discusting secret is that we do the best we can on a daily basis to protect our country. That’s our job. Sometimes that means we try to take care of our own dirty laundry before the enemies of our country can find out we messed up and use it against the country as a whole. We aren’t always successful. Sometimes the whole world finds out that we screwed up and our enemies get to celebrate. That means we didn’t do our job as well as we should have that day.

Yes, I believe that if the press gets ahold of something, they have the right to publish it. Absolutely. The public has the right to know. You’ll forgive us however, if we aren’t eager to help make ourselves and our country look bad in front of the world as a whole. We’re weird that way.

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