Memo: The Faux Veteran Phenomenon
By:
Sgt. Mom on
20040503
To: Anyone Contemplating It
From: Sgt Mom
Re: Claiming to Be a Military Veteran
1. Whereas I and most other American women of legal age who are not actually observantly and very, very deeply religious, have had the experience of going to a bar and having a person of the opposite sex pitch woo by exaggerating their income, their employment particulars, and their resume, it seems of late there has developed a tendency for people create wholly fictitious military experiences or pretend to qualifications they do not actually posses, for more purposes than to impress susceptible women.
2. This is not a good idea: whereas a casually met pick-up might not care enough--- and may not even believe it in the first place anyway--- a persistent and detailed pretense of being a military veteran can, should, and will be unraveled as soon as anyone cares enough to do the unraveling. Specialized qualifications, unit assignments, medals and decorations awarded, presence on a specific mission, or in a certain place and a certain time; all these are a matter of publicly available records, and embedded in the memory of all those other people who were in that same place, unit, mission, and time. The military is a small place, and stuff does get around. Civilians may find this hard to believe.
3. A military member does not operate in a vacuum, after all: wherever that person was, and whatever that person did, rest assured there were others present who will remember and either confirm or disclaim accounts of extraordinary happenings. Not much can be sanitized out of records and memories entirely and written off by claims of “top secret”.
4. Veterans tend to not talk so much about their service, especially to total strangers, but are more apt to display little signs that are a tip-off to another veteran; a service ring, a cap with a service logo, or something distinctly military like a flight jacket. When they talk, it’s more usually about funny or ironic things that happened to them; the serious stuff rarely, if ever, alluded to.
5. In conclusion, the faux-veteran may fool the civilians for a good long while, but eventually all the veterans who were there where the faux-veteran claimed to be, will put it together. And they will put it together--- that’s a bankable guarantee.
Sgt. Mom
PS: Quick word: anyone claiming to be a Vietnam veteran these days has to be over 50.
Brian says:
"Quick word: anyone claiming to be a Vietnam veteran these days has to be over 50."
True enough. I did have as a C.O. a mustang who was, in 1986, around 38 years old - but looked much younger still, and had movie-star good looks as well. He seemed implausibly young to wear the handful of Vietnam "I was there ribbons" plus one that had the gold 'V' for valor. We speculated that he must have been an 18 year old PFC at the Embassy in Saigon or some such when South Vietnam fell.
Andrewdb says:
On the other hand, it is a bit of a welcome change (IMHO) when people make up _these_ kind of stories - what a difference from immediately after the Vietnam war.
Yes, it is still rather pathetic though.
Yamaneko says:
This civilian got some real veterans at work to react by stating that our employer hired ex-military officers because of their leadership ability. The gales of laughter gave them away.
Steve Skubinna says:
From my first day at OCS, I began hearing about our "service reputation." It sounds a lot like "your permanent record" in grade school, except that it really exists. From your first day in you start adding to it, and it hangs around like an invisible cloud for the rest of your connection with the service. Promotion boards, PCS assignments, TDYs, even wives' club brunches, wherever you go it's been there before you, and everyone has at least a litte piece of it.
People who have never been in don't understand it, and probably wouldn't believe it anyway. After all, everyone knows there are a zillion people in the military at any given time, and they're mostly incompetent if not outright stupid, and when they get out all they do is sit around the American Legion and get blitzed on Bud... And if civilians are dopey enough to be impressed by military experience, well that's easy enough to fake, right?
Crank says:
The little stuff is hard to fake. My dad was a NY City cop and claims that in most cases he can spot a cop by the way their eyes case a room when they walk in the door.
Richard Cook says:
I gotta second Steve. More important than anything is your reputation. It follows you from billet to billet, it is behind you and in front of you. I'm a CPO in the Navy (5 yrs active, 19 years reserve) and I'm tellin' you, inside of an hour I can find out anything I need to know about any chief newly assigned to my unit (and visa-versa). A good rep is gold.
Richard Cook says:
On second thought, if you have a bad rep I will know it the minute it is known you are headed to my unit. A little khaki colored birdie in PSD told me.
JoeF says:
My father, a former Marine amd an actual Vietnam veteran (of two tours, with the record to prove it) actually called out a fellow member of the local American Legion post because he felt the man was faking his record.
He apparently was using the record of someone with the same name, who happened to have grown up in another part of the country. He told my father he was at Da Nang, he's said in front of me (he's a regular customer at the bar I work at) that he was at Ka San (spelling?).
Seeing what my father has gone through (he's on full disabilty for PTSD, with the flashbacks to prove it), it disgusts me that the braggard/asshole who claims to have been there can get away with it as often as he does.
JoeF says:
My father, a former Marine amd an actual Vietnam veteran (of two tours, with the record to prove it) actually called out a fellow member of the local American Legion post because he felt the man was faking his record.
He apparently was using the record of someone with the same name, who happened to have grown up in another part of the country. He told my father he was at Da Nang, he's said in front of me (he's a regular customer at the bar I work at) that he was at Ka San (spelling?).
Seeing what my father has gone through (he's on full disabilty for PTSD, with the flashbacks to prove it), it disgusts me that the braggard/asshole who claims to have been there can get away with it as often as he does.
Jaalinta says:
Sgt Mom sez:
"The military is a small place, and stuff does get around. Civilians may find this hard to believe."
Heh..Micah Ian Wright found that out the hard way. It took more than a few calls to the WaPo but the Rangers smoked him out publically.
In the smaller communities, most of us know each other either directly or through mutual friends.
When I worked for Naval Air Systems Command, I was surprised at the number of fellow Naval Flight Officer's who knew of me (by name) through my older brother (another NFO) even though I've never met them.
My advice to those would-be pretenders- don't even think about it. Learn to be happy with who you are. You'll be better off in the long run.
Yeff says:
You can tell a true veteran by the way he tells his war stories. The wannabes will have a broad story of daring-do and great deeds. The veteran will note the small things like the smell of a place... a good place to eat outside the main gate... favorite bars in selected countries.
Get two people who were stationed in the same place and they'll discuss the food, the women and the drinks. The wannabe will tell about the super-important job he had there and how he really can't talk about it. Oh, he'll also mention his classified DD214. *Always* with the classified DD214. What's up with that?
Brian says:
Service Reputation - second or third that.
The 'data processing' community in the Marines was small-ish in the early 90s. All of the SNCOs knew each other, and getting the scoop on the other ranks wasn't hard either. Sgt. Schlub? Knew him at CSS. Cpl Whoozit? Wasn't he the guy that sent that wildcard email to everyone on the East Coast? And so on.
Another kind of reputation would accompany you to a new unit. The page in your Service Record Book (SRB) with the Bad Things was the first thing a new CO would see when you checked in. Then the next page contained your awards and atta-boys.
"Cpl. Dunbar, I see that you had a small problem with discipline. I gonna have a problems with you?"
What I always wanted to say was "that was four (or six or seven) years ago, I was 18, a PFC and really really dumb and full of myself. NJP is such an eye-opener that I did an immediate 180 and I now fly the straight and moral path. Mostly. I'm much more humble and cirumspect now"." instead you muster a sincere look and say "No, Sir".
And then spend the rest of your time with the unit doing good and sinning no more. But you always start a step behind.
There was one SNCO, MGySgt Howard, ranking SNCO at CSS. She looked at the book, looked me in the eye, asked me that question .. and believed me. I never felt that I'd started a step behind. Too damn bad that was merely 'school' and not a perm duty station.
John Nowak says:
I did not serve, but I've spoken with some people who have, and it always struck me that they generally start with a story told as an amusing anecdote -- even if it turns out to be about losing 80 pounds in a German POW camp.
ajay says:
Actually, over here (UK) if you see someone in casual clothes and they are NOT wearing any military or quasi-mil kit whatever (no green/khaki T-shirt, no DPM vest/mesh vest/crop top/trousers, no thigh or knee pockets, no webbing belt, no Bundeswehr surplus parka, no ID disc, no bush hat) then you can be pretty sure they're military. Otherwise, they're civilian.
Fashion, eh?
Old Fart Controller says:
It still surprises me that anyone tries. I'm a vet, got lots of silly stories about people being stupid in no stupid zones. But the real stuff, sorry, only someone that's been there and got more than the t-shirt can understand or relate.
Service rep, something I try to hide, only those I worked for or with know or care, and the young ones ... well, it's interesting listening to it second and third hand. But the two times since retiring that I went to job interviews, I was hired. As Walter Brennan said "no brag, just fact."
"Quick word: anyone claiming to be a Vietnam veteran these days has to be over 50."
True enough. I did have as a C.O. a mustang who was, in 1986, around 38 years old - but looked much younger still, and had movie-star good looks as well. He seemed implausibly young to wear the handful of Vietnam "I was there ribbons" plus one that had the gold 'V' for valor. We speculated that he must have been an 18 year old PFC at the Embassy in Saigon or some such when South Vietnam fell.
Brian :: 04 May 04 0428 :: link